War and bullying. Do they have anything in common?

Workplace bullying and war do not have a lot in common.  But one thing they do have in common is dehumanization: our failure (willful or not) to see the humanity of others.  The targets of workplace bullying will tell you how like a non-human they feel they are treated. It is highly traumatic.  But we […]

“When are they going to believe I’ve changed?”

How long does change take? It depends on who’s asking. As she read the feedback, I saw her shoulders slump and a look of tiredness on her face. “So in short it seems like people notice and appreciate the changes I’ve made, but they’re not convinced yet that they’re truly genuine, or that they’re going […]

You know you didn’t call them stupid. So why do they say you did?

There it was, starting on page three of his 360 Feedback report. A page and a half of comments like these that people had made to me as I interviewed them: He flogs people with words. He says things like “You’re wrong. You’re an idiot.” At times he’s very condescending. “That’s a bad idea. That’s […]

The Messenger Matters

“People are a time suck,” he told me in our first coaching session. “I’m sprinting and everyone else is crawling. They don’t seem to get it. I’m having to push them the whole time. What do I do about them? ”