Feeling bullied?
Yes, I do also coach and support people who are feeling bullied.
To see if I might be able to support you, schedule a quick call with me here:
Before we talk, please review these resources and/or take these steps.
These resources will both help you on your path to recovery and healing, and make our initial discovery call more productive.
- Understand the Five Stress Responses to Workplace Bullying. Identify which one(s) you are in.
- Get, and read, Overcoming Mobbing: A Recovery Guide for Workplace Aggression and Bullying by Maureen Duffy and Len Sperry. It is an excellent book, incredibly helpful for you to understand what you are experiencing and why it is happening. It will help to start to unlock you from freeze.
- Find and connect with a therapist who a) understands workplace mobbing and b) is trained to work with PTSD. In my experience, targets of bullying do best with both therapy and coaching. If they can only do one, therapy MUST come first. In the US, I can recommend any of the therapists below. Outside of the US, I suggest doing an internet search. Note: I will not take on a client who is/has been a target of workplace bullying if they are not also working with a therapist.
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If you are in the US, join, explore the resources of, and engage with/attend meetings of the National Workplace Bullying Coalition. Canada has the Canadian Institute of Workplace Bullying and Harassment. The UK has the National Bullying Helpline. Do an internet search for elsewhere. Getting involved with your national organization is a phenomenal way to break out of the isolation and shame of this experience, connect with others, and realize you are not alone and that this is not (and never was) about you.
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Get with your doctor and get him/her to book you out on medical (a.k.a stress) leave. If your organization has it, take Short Term Disability (STD). Do not use Worker’s Comp (it gives the employer too much control). One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to give yourself time away from the workplace. Two weeks is the absolute minimum. Six weeks is more realistic. I recognize this option is not available to all. If you don’t have STD, consider using FMLA in the US (I know that’s unpaid leave though, and I recognize many people cannot afford unpaid leave.) Bottom line: getting respite from the situation is the single biggest thing you can do to start to heal and recover. You cannot heal from trauma while you are still being actively traumatized.
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Start updating your resume and looking for another job. Too many targets stay too long at a workplace that is causing them grievous mental and emotional harm. You are highly unlikely to get the organization to change—not unless you form a coalition with others who are feeling like you do/ who have also been targeted. No, you shouldn’t have to leave. But staying is signing up to continue to be abused. Part of getting unstuck from freeze is to start to do anything to get yourself out of the situation.