Solving the Problem of Abrasive Leaders

A free webinar series for those who manage,
work with, or work for abrasive leaders…

…and who want to know how to stop
them from being so abrasive.

…and who want to know how to stop them from being so abrasive.

The webinars are fantastic. They are so on the money about identifying what the issue is, how to address it, and equipping people to have those interventions. 

Sue’s approach is really sophisticated in terms of not just understanding where this behaviour comes from, but how to respond to it in a way that’s more likely to gain traction and success. 

Nigel Gilkes

Managing Director, Impromptu Limited 

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Abrasive leaders rub their coworkers the wrong way. Commonly referred to as workplace bullies, their destructive management styles erode motivation, engagement, innovation and productivity.

But getting them to stop being abrasive?

Now that’s the challenge.

Maybe you’ve tried talking to them, giving them feedback, setting boundaries, standing up to them, sending them to training, or even bringing in a coach or complaining to HR/their boss.

But their capacity to defend and justify themselves seems limitless. All too often they turn the tables on one: they’re not the problem, you/others are.

The reason these approaches don’t work is that they are rooted in profound misconceptions on who the abrasive leader is, why they do what they do, what it takes to get them to see and care about their impact, as well as what it takes to motivate them to change.

To solve the problem of abrasive leaders we need to start by dispelling the myths about them.

And then use abrasive-leader specific strategies.

Webinar 1

Rough Diamond or Poison in the Water?
The Conundrum of Abrasive Leaders

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They’ve been called snakes in suits, hyena’s, psychopaths and many other names.

But are they?

I’m no apologist for abrasive leaders (a.k.a. “bullies”). They cause hurt and harm – even trauma – to both the individuals affected and the organization as a whole.

And…failing to understand them means we consistently apply the wrong solutions and use strategies that won’t work.

In Webinar 1 we’ll cover:

In Webinar 1 we’ll cover:

Sue approaches this challenging subject with compassion and sensitivity. And the webinar content is very stimulating---logically extensive, emotionally aware and deep, somatically aware, and filled with practical applications of accurate research. It's real quality stuff.
Len Anspach
Director of Strategic Development
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Webinar 2

Protecting the Organization’s Mission:
How to Intervene with an Abrasive Leader

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Many HR leaders and managers feel challenged with what to do with an abrasive leader who is too good to fire, too expensive to keep, and who has been resistant to change and feedback on their interpersonal style.

In this webinar we’re going to watch two scenarios play out: an unsuccessful intervention and a successful intervention. 

And then we’ll draw out the lessons learned in each. 

You’ll walk away armed with how to respond to their highly predictable defensiveness, and how to avoid bruising fact battles that you can’t win.

Not in a position of authority? I still encourage you to attend. Here's why.

Yes, ultimately it is only those who have authority over the abrasive leader who have the real power to intervene.

But even if you are not in a position of authority over the leader, I encourage you to attend this webinar as understanding what management needs to do to intervene effectively (and why they so often don’t) will help you as you develop your own strategy and approach (Webinar 3).

In Webinar 2 we’ll cover:

In Webinar 2 we’ll cover cover:

You’ll also get “take and tweak” scripts that you can use to guide the conversation and be prepared to respond to defensiveness calmly, kindly, and clearly, without having to argue or get into fact battles.

Sue’s webinar was really helpful. We used Sue’s notes and scripts from Webinar 2 to prepare, and the feedback session went so well! We were able to deliver some pretty tough feedback. But it was well received! We were actually thanked for creating the space so that, really hard though it was to hear, the person could actually hear the feedback we needed to deliver.
Wendy
HR Leader, Canada
What I found especially helpful was how Sue shared that abrasive leaders don't always understand the impact they are having; that their behavior can come out of their own insecurity. And also how to deal with the objection "I'm not responsible for other people's perception of me."
Caroline Hopkins
Women's Empowerment Coach, South Africa
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Webinar 3

Barking Dogs Get Shushed.
The Fatal, and Non-Fatal, Ways to Deal
with an Abrasive Boss

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You don’t want to leave. You used to love your job and you were good at it. But now work feels like torture and you’re starting to doubt your own abilities.

The emotional, mental and physical toll on targets of workplace bullying is tremendous. Traumatic is not too strong a word.

And while it is ultimately management’s responsibility to intervene and put an end to this major drain on organizational effectiveness, you may wait a very long time for that to happen. 

There are things that you can do to protect yourself and nudge management towards intervening.

In this webinar we’ll cover:

In this webinar we’ll cover cover:

The idea of the abrasive leader feeling threatened has been very helpful in moving on from my past.​
Anne
USA
This has been a great series. It's helped me empathize with an abrasive leader, which has produced progress.
Kathy
USA
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All The Details

Length

Each webinar is 30 to 45 minutes. 

Q&A is NOT included in the recordings. 

UpSell?

These are educational webinars. There is no upsell or offer at the end.

But yes, I do coach abrasive leaders.

Anyone who would like to explore possible coaching with me – either for themselves, or for a leader they manage – is welcome to schedule a confidential follow-up call with me.

When you register, you subscribe.

You’ll receive a few emails from me on how I work with abrasive leaders, so you get a sense of who I am and whether I can help. 

You’ll also receive my newsletter as a subscriber.

In addition, you’ll receive webinar-specific emails with the Zoom links, links the recordings afterwards, and a few reminders that the webinars are happening.

Confidentiality
This is such a sensitive topic and many people might be concerned about attending and confidentiality. A few things:
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About Sue Mann, and
Sansu Rising Coaching

I've attended other webinars by Sue on trauma. She is someone who genuinely and authentically seeks to make the world a better place to live.
Steve Harvey
Steve Harvey
Leadership Development Consultant, UK

Why do I choose to coach abrasive leaders?

In a word: Tutu.

As in the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, anti-apartheid activist, and leader of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa.

To paraphrase him: there comes a time when you need to stop pulling bodies out of the river and go upstream to solve the source of the problem.

And yes, I’ve had my own experiences with abrasive leadership too: being that abrasive leader, being the target and being in management. And it is because of those experiences, combined with subsequent training and the many people I have coached that I feel both called to do this work and given the gifts to do it.

Why do I choose to coach abrasive leaders?

In a word: Tutu.

As in the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, anti-apartheid activist, and leader of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa.

To paraphrase him: there comes a time when you need to stop pulling bodies out of the river and go upstream to solve the source of the problem.

And yes, I’ve had my own experiences with abrasive leadership too: being that abrasive leader, being the target and being in management. And it is because of those experiences, combined with subsequent training and the many people I have coached that I feel both called to do this work and given the gifts to do it.

It was when I finally understood systems, power dynamics, and the blindspots my own strengths were creating for me, that everything changed. I learned the neuroscience behind motivation, stress and how our nervous systems work, and experienced an ease and lightness that transformed my life, and the people around me.

My mission now is to bring these tools to other leaders, so that they can move from feeling blocked and frustrated, to experiencing the joy and delight that can be managing and leading others.

Since 2018 I’ve coached and supported many hundreds of people, from first time managers to VPs and the C-suite, to experience this ease and lightness too, while enhancing both theirs and others’ performance and effectiveness.

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Register using the form below. You’ll get immediate access the recordings. 

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