The webinars are fantastic. They are so on the money about identifying what the issue is, how to address it, and equipping people to have those interventions.
Sue’s approach is really sophisticated in terms of not just understanding where this behaviour comes from, but how to respond to it in a way that’s more likely to gain traction and success.
Nigel Gilkes
Managing Director, Impromptu Limited
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Abrasive leaders rub their coworkers the wrong way. Commonly referred to as workplace bullies, their destructive management styles erode motivation, engagement, innovation and productivity.
But getting them to stop being abrasive?
Now that’s the challenge.
Maybe you’ve tried talking to them, giving them feedback, setting boundaries, standing up to them, sending them to training, or even bringing in a coach or complaining to HR/their boss.
But their capacity to defend and justify themselves seems limitless. All too often they turn the tables on one: they’re not the problem, you/others are.
The reason these approaches don’t work is that they are rooted in profound misconceptions on who the abrasive leader is, why they do what they do, what it takes to get them to see and care about their impact, as well as what it takes to motivate them to change.
To solve the problem of abrasive leaders we need to start by dispelling the myths about them.
And then use abrasive-leader specific strategies.
will cover:
Rough Diamond or Poison in the Water?
The Conundrum of Abrasive Leaders
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They’ve been called snakes in suits, hyena’s, psychopaths and many other names.
But are they?
I’m no apologist for abrasive leaders (a.k.a. “bullies”). They cause hurt and harm – even trauma – to both the individuals affected and the organization as a whole.
And…failing to understand them means we consistently apply the wrong solutions and use strategies that won’t work.
In Webinar 1 we’ll cover:
In Webinar 1 we’ll cover:
- What they do and why they do it
- Why they “don’t see”
- The origins of abrasive leaders: myths and realities
- The dynamics of defensive aggression: Threat, Anxiety, Defense
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Webinar 2
Protecting the Organization’s Mission:
How to Intervene with an Abrasive Leader
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Many HR leaders and managers feel challenged with what to do with an abrasive leader who is too good to fire, too expensive to keep, and who has been resistant to change and feedback on their interpersonal style.
In this webinar we’re going to watch two scenarios play out: an unsuccessful intervention and a successful intervention.
And then we’ll draw out the lessons learned in each.
You’ll walk away armed with how to respond to their highly predictable defensiveness, and how to avoid bruising fact battles that you can’t win.
Not in a position of authority? I still encourage you to attend. Here's why.
Yes, ultimately it is only those who have authority over the abrasive leader who have the real power to intervene.
But even if you are not in a position of authority over the leader, I encourage you to attend this webinar as understanding what management needs to do to intervene effectively (and why they so often don’t) will help you as you develop your own strategy and approach (Webinar 3).
In Webinar 2 we’ll cover:
In Webinar 2 we’ll cover cover:
- Why managers don’t intervene
- The way to get management to care
- The way to get abrasive leaders to see, care and start on the path to change
- How to disarm an abrasive leader’s defensiveness, denials, deflection and rationalizations
You’ll also get “take and tweak” scripts that you can use to guide the conversation and be prepared to respond to defensiveness calmly, kindly, and clearly, without having to argue or get into fact battles.
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Webinar 3
Barking Dogs Get Shushed.
The Fatal, and Non-Fatal, Ways to Deal
with an Abrasive Boss
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You don’t want to leave. You used to love your job and you were good at it. But now work feels like torture and you’re starting to doubt your own abilities.
The emotional, mental and physical toll on targets of workplace bullying is tremendous. Traumatic is not too strong a word.
And while it is ultimately management’s responsibility to intervene and put an end to this major drain on organizational effectiveness, you may wait a very long time for that to happen.
There are things that you can do to protect yourself and nudge management towards intervening.
In this webinar we’ll cover cover:
- The myths and realities of targets
- Stress responses: why targets do and don’t fight back they way they do
- What NOT to do, and why not
- The Five Strategies that are most likely to work
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All The Details
Each webinar is 30 to 45 minutes.
Q&A is NOT included in the recordings.
These are educational webinars. There is no upsell or offer at the end.
But yes, I do coach abrasive leaders.
Anyone who would like to explore possible coaching with me – either for themselves, or for a leader they manage – is welcome to schedule a confidential follow-up call with me.
When you register, you subscribe.
You’ll receive a few emails from me on how I work with abrasive leaders, so you get a sense of who I am and whether I can help.
You’ll also receive my newsletter as a subscriber.
In addition, you’ll receive webinar-specific emails with the Zoom links, links the recordings afterwards, and a few reminders that the webinars are happening.
- I take privacy seriously. I never share names, emails or other personal information with anyone else.
- While I request you register with your real name, you are welcome to use a pseudonym and/or or be off camera for the webinar itself.
- You will not be asked to identify yourself if you want to ask a question. And your question will not be included in the recording.
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About Sue Mann, and
Sansu Rising Coaching
Why do I choose to coach abrasive leaders?
In a word: Tutu.
As in the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, anti-apartheid activist, and leader of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa.
To paraphrase him: there comes a time when you need to stop pulling bodies out of the river and go upstream to solve the source of the problem.
And yes, I’ve had my own experiences with abrasive leadership too: being that abrasive leader, being the target and being in management. And it is because of those experiences, combined with subsequent training and the many people I have coached that I feel both called to do this work and given the gifts to do it.
Why do I choose to coach abrasive leaders?
In a word: Tutu.
As in the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, anti-apartheid activist, and leader of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa.
To paraphrase him: there comes a time when you need to stop pulling bodies out of the river and go upstream to solve the source of the problem.
And yes, I’ve had my own experiences with abrasive leadership too: being that abrasive leader, being the target and being in management. And it is because of those experiences, combined with subsequent training and the many people I have coached that I feel both called to do this work and given the gifts to do it.
It was when I finally understood systems, power dynamics, and the blindspots my own strengths were creating for me, that everything changed. I learned the neuroscience behind motivation, stress and how our nervous systems work, and experienced an ease and lightness that transformed my life, and the people around me.
My mission now is to bring these tools to other leaders, so that they can move from feeling blocked and frustrated, to experiencing the joy and delight that can be managing and leading others.
Since 2018 I’ve coached and supported many hundreds of people, from first time managers to VPs and the C-suite, to experience this ease and lightness too, while enhancing both theirs and others’ performance and effectiveness.
Register using the form below. You’ll get immediate access the recordings.
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